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As a woman with what I consider to be a healthy sexual appetite, I am always astonished when I hear a female acquaintance discuss how they enjoy ‘lying back and doing nothing’ while their boyfriend, bedfellow, or what have you ‘does all the work’. In these sorts of situations, it takes all of my self-restraint from exclaiming in a bewildered tone “What do you mean…you just lay there?!”
Upon further inquiry with some of my more promiscuous male friends, it appears the ‘starfish’ is a more common occurrence than one would think; apparently some women believe it is their God-given right to lay passively as their sexual partner is left to flail around helplessly on top. Now I know that the bedroom is a perfect place to explore the theoretical notions of dominant male and submissive female, but I can’t condone a woman who takes a passive and non-engaged role in sex. There is definite difference between a girl who chooses to adopt a masochistic position whilst in the sack and a girl who lays there like a lifeless corpse.
I just don’t get it. If you are not going to be physically engaged what is the point of making acquaintances in the first place? Surely you would rather be sleeping than having some guy sweat it out on top of you. What happens when this anti-action gal meets a guy who reverses the roles? I think these girls would be less than impressed having to do all the work.
The only situation where being essentially motionless during a hook-up is when you are too blackout to know the difference. You think you are the star of a soft-core porno rocking some guy’s world but in reality you are too drunk to put in any effort beyond pulling your skirt down. So if you are worried you won’t be sexy or know what to do, realize the guy your with is probably just excited to be seeing your tits, so don’t be afraid to get on top.
By Lauren H